I’m Here For YOU.


I’m here for YOU. Yes, you, who wonders if things will ever get better. 

You who thinks maybe you’re not cut out for this. 

You who feels lonely, lost, searching. 

Whether you’re in a relationship, single, going through divorce, grieving…you’re thinking that maybe this is your lot in life. Perhaps the life that everyone else seems to be living is not in the cards for you.

You want to be a mother, a partner, a soulmate, a lover, a beloved. Yet, your belief that it can actually happen for YOU is dwindling and you’re starting to cover up your desires with cynicism. Your heart is hardening by each crack and crevice where it was broken before. 

The light is dimming and you can only see blurs of lost possibility and disappointment. mixed with the last remnants of hope. 

I know you. 

I was you. 

I have learned to believe in something new, to create something new, to live something new. 

I have come out of the pit of dark thinking and can shine a light on your own pathway out. 

You decide. Will you ask for help or will keep your old beliefs close because they feel safe? 

Can you take a chance on something you haven’t tried before? Take a leap? 

I can hold your hand and leap with you. What will you choose?

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If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

Post Mother’s Day Blues

Got a little post-Mother’s Day blues this morning? 

Like after most holidays we can experience a little let down from what we thought the day was going to be like. 

Did you subconsciously (or maybe consciously!) think that your husband would treat you like the golden goddess that you are and not let you lift a finger all day? 

Or that your kiddos would somehow realize the importance of this day and just know not to ask you for anything? To somehow not need or want you? To give you a friggin break???

Or did you have brunch with your mom and realize that she’s the same mom that bugs you whenever you get together and she didn’t get the memo to not nag you or tell you how you mother your own kids is wrong on this oh-so-special-all-about-you day?

Or perhaps you saw all the Instagram ads and posts about how special Mother’s Day is and how you should be showered with so many wonderful gifts and if the people who are in your life REALLY love you they will for sure know exactly what gift you would want even though you’ve never expressed that desired gift…

Sound familiar? 

Sometimes when we plan ahead for a holiday or even just a normal weekday in regular life we can let our brains run away from us, creating grand illusions of the fairytale life we would like or what social media tells us we deserve. All the while the people around us are being exactly who they are, as is their right. 

So what’s the problem here? Well, unmet expectations can grow and fester into bitterness, resentment, and even anger, when all the while loving people where they’re at feels SO MUCH BETTER. 

Instead of feeling disappointment, we can feel love and contentment. 

Yesterday went EXACTLY how it should have went. How do we know this? Because it happened. Whatever happened or didn’t happened is neutral. Whatever you decide to think about it determines how you feel about it. 

If you’re feeling a little blue today, disappointed, or even mad, just remember that it’s all a choice. Sometimes we want to feel upset and that’s okay. 

Feel it. Process it. Let it go. Create a new day. 

We are all golden goddesses. Let’s decide to feel empowered, okay?! Rock on, Mama!

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If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

The First Step in “Adulting”

​I went to two different therapists in my twenties. Although I would say one was better than the other in terms of asking me good questions and getting me to see some things differently but mostly I felt like I was just telling them my same old story of childhood and young adulthood traumas and then telling them how that made me feel and how I thought it affected my current relationships. 


Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way saying I’m against therapy. If you find a therapist that helps you, GLORY IN THE HIGHEST! I just got to this point where I felt like I had already told the same stories to my friends and family, got some different perspective and healed in a way that I was able to cope with life but that’s just it. I was telling the same story and was just getting by.


It wasn’t until I started my coaching programs that I was able to finally learn that the way I saw the world, past events, people in my life, was my completely biased perspective. I thought I was stating facts but I was just telling the story that worked for me to cope as a child. Those stories served me at the time when I was incapable of any other perspective. But as I grew into adulthood those stories no longer served me. In fact, they became self-destructive. ​


I had to learn that there are neutral facts in the world, a circumstance. (I have a father.) Then my brain forms a thought, a sentence describing that fact. (My father abandoned me because he didn’t love me.) Then my body creates an emotion, a feeling. (Sad, lonely, angry) Most of us think that our thoughts are the facts and that the outside thing (people, events, situations) make us feel something. We skip over our own thoughts. The thoughts we are entirely responsible for. 


I choose to believe that both my parents love me so much they can’t even describe it in words. How can I believe that looking at everything that happened? What about the stories of trauma? Abandonment? 


I have shifted my perspective little by little over time through all of this deep inner work to have compassion above all else. To find understanding in who people are and what they chose to do or not do, and NOT make it about me or their love for me. To love people where they are at and not create any other expectation of how they should make me feel. Because how I feel is my responsibility. Talk about feeling empowered and grown up!


I didn’t learn that in my therapy sessions. It was a good practice in venting and expressing, getting it all out, which is an amazing first step. But I needed more. I needed practical application of how to move on, how to become more than the abandoned child I believed I was. 


I think so many people in their twenties struggle with this. We’re told that we’re now adults and fully responsible for our lives, yet we don’t know what that means AT ALL. We need some how-to steps. We need someone to hold space for us to express, to heal, AND to start creating the next version of ourselves. That’s the power in professional life coaching. It helps us learn “adulting” as the kids call it these days. 😉


I’m so thankful that I was able to finally breakthrough the BS by the time I turned 30 so that I could make room for what’s happening now. I shed my 20-year old stories. I let them float away. I’m now creating such a beautiful, abundant life full of love and possibility! I love to go back to my little-girl self in my mind, give her a hug and show her everything we’ve accomplished so far, and what I have planned for us next. It’s a big circle of healing that I couldn’t have imagined before.

I wonder what stories are holding you back today? Are you struggling with thinking that this is even possible for you? You’re no different than me, my friend! I’m no more special than you are. You can do all of this same work and in time see a completely different life before you. What will you choose?

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If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 


Mission Impossible: Finding My Husband

​I remember when the thought that I would marry the man of my dreams was impossible to me. 


Somehow I knew I would be a mom someday but I was blocked by not truly believing in finding the right man to be the father, co-parent, and husband I desired. 
I had heard from so many different teachers, thought leaders, spiritual masters that you had to make a list of who you wanted and then he would appear. So, I made my lists. Pages of lists. I wrote letters to my future husband. I made myself available, going out in the world, looking for him in every man that paid any attention to me. 


Still, he wasn’t here. 


Then I learned you had to BE that person you wanted so that your energy frequency would match his and THEN he would come. Cool. I started working on myself BIG TIME. I enrolled in Self Coaching Scholars, worked out, ate right, journaled, broke down, healed, rinsed and repeated…all of it. Still, I was single. 
It wasn’t until I met my coach and she unveiled the underlying belief that was holding me back the whole dang time. 


“All men cheat.” 


I was busy “manifesting” my future husband but my beliefs weren’t aligned with that seemingly impossible goal so he wasn’t showing up in my life. 


She helped me visualize who my future husband was. She asked me not only what does he look like, etc. but who is he as a person? (Honest, hardworking, loving) What does he do in his spare time? (Works with his hands, reads, plays/enjoys music, has a spiritual practice) And most importantly, does he cheat on you? I cried when I answered no. It never occurred to me that I could possibly be with a man who didn’t cheat on me. The thought felt SO REAL to me. But if you had asked me if it was possible that some men don’t cheat on their wives, I would say yes…not just possible for me. 


A-ha! Why was that?


It came down to this belief that I wasn’t worthy of that good of a man. Once I became aware of these sneaky (optional) thoughts I was then able to let them go and decide what I wanted to believe WAS possible for me. I decided to believe that despite everything I had believed my whole life that now I can believe in my worthiness and unlock my desires to be come realities. My impossible goal was about to be met. Little did I know it would happen so fast!


I came home from that weekend of in-person coaching and decided to get back on that dating app, really allow myself to be seen in both full body pictures (yes, he would have to know what I actually looked like below the neckline!) AND my true desires in the words I wrote in my profile. I finally said I wanted to be an amazing wife and mom, and I desired a man who also wanted to be an amazing husband and father. I was always so afraid of scaring off men with the scary words “relationship”, “marriage”, “children”. Oh spooky! 


Now, I was confident that all I needed to do was be myself, and the right person would come. I didn’t need a lot of men interested, I just needed one. And a week and a half later I found myself on a date with my now husband. I remember seeing him and his smile for the first time and my heart just knew he was different. (And very different he is! ha!)


Guess what…my lovely brain STILL offers up thoughts of fear and anxiety that I could still get cheated on. Yep, even after all this work and marrying this lovely man. That’s what my primitive brain is probably going to do forever. It’s trying to protect me. Cool. But what’s different these days is that I don’t make those old thoughts coming up mean ANYTHING about me, about Chris, and our relationship. I can let the thought pass and say thanks but no thanks! I don’t let that thought drive an emotion and action that could sabotage us. I don’t let that fear an anxiety do anything. I say, yep, I see you little old thoughts. Have a great day, bye! 


They come up way less often then they used to. I hardly think about it anymore. But when life is going great, brains like to find problems to solve. Let’s create a problem out of thin air just to solve it! That’ll be fun! Yeah, not so fun when you let this game drive wedges in your relationships. It can happen anytime in any relationship if you’re not aware of those underlying beliefs. 


I’m SO thankful for the work I’ve done on myself, the coaching I’ve received from different coaches, and I can even be thankful for the trauma and the cheating that I’ve experienced. It’s all a lesson and helps me be a better coach, a better wife and a better mom-to-be. 


What is your impossible goal? What is that deep longing inside of you that you ignore every single day only because you don’t believe you’re worthy of it? Let’s explore and dig it up. Let’s see it and heal it. Let’s reach that new level of awareness and understanding so we can achieve what is now seemingly impossible. If you’d like to work with a coach to help you do this work, send me a message and we can set up a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit. Click HERE to set up a call using my online booking tool, Calendly.

It’s hard work but SO WORTH IT!

The Four Parts of a Relationship

In a relationship between two people, there are at least four parts. 

1) What they think of themselves
2) What they think of you
3) What you think they think of you
4) What you think of you

Most of the time we think that #3 is a fact, not our thoughts. We can base a whole relationship on what we think the other person is thinking, when in fact there is literally no way to ever know, unless you’re a mind reader. Even when people tell you what they think of you, you would never know if it’s actually true. 

So, if what we think of another person is the whole relationship, why not choose to believe awesome stuff? 

I could decide that the clerk at the store really likes me but she is having a bad day. We would actually be great friends. Versus, thinking about how rude she was to me and most likely being rude back to her. 

Or, when a family member doesn’t call as often as we would like, or ever, we can decide they don’t love us or we can decide that they love us the most AND they’re not able to be as present in our lives as much as would we hope. 

We make all kinds of assumptions based on words and actions of another person. I know you’re thinking of the worst right now, “What if someone is beating you? Would you still think they love you?” Don’t get me wrong, in no way am I saying to not ever have boundaries in a relationship and just make believe of a fairytale situation or be the martyr. An alternative to believing you are a victim of the relationship is that you could believe that you are awesome, powerful, independent, etc. and they are confused. That you are 100% lovable and worthy NO MATTER WHAT anyone else does or says. 

How does that belief feel in your body?

How would you respond to the people in your life when you came from a place of love, contentment, and confidence? How would you show up as the loving person you are? 

For those who want to write me and say that this would be “delusional”, if we can’t possibly know what someone is thinking, we are making up a story either way, right? So, why not write a story that is empowering? 

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If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best.