The Not So Little Ballerina

I posted this on Instagram/Facebook yesterday and figured I would expand on my thoughts here.

“A long time ago, when I took a free community ballet class as an inspired 11 year old, someone close to me said I was “too fat to be a ballerina” and unfortunately, I cemented that thought into a belief for many years. Even though I grew up and decided to be a dancer anyway through ballroom and social dancing, there was always that cemented blocker between me and ballet. It was too late and I was just too fat. Today, I decide to break that barrier and take my first adult beginner ballet class. Even though I may not ever look like @mistyonpointe I love her message of loving AND dancing in the body you’re in. Here’s to being whatever the hell I want to be!”

As a child, whenever I watched movies with singing and dancing in them I was glued. I would secretly move my hips around and around in the mirror like they did in Dirty Dancing. I would run through my house, leaping in the air, pretending to be Jody from Center Stage. I would watch music videos and try to keep up with the fast choreography of Michael, Janet, Britney, Christina, and so many more.

Even though I was a natural performer, I was only able to participate in the free stuff at school like talent shows and holiday programs, Theater Class and Choir. But dance classes and teams cost a lot of money so I just pretended, hoping and wishing that someday I would magically turn into a ballerina.

Don’t worry, this is not a woe-is-me story about a poor kid. I’m way over blaming my childhood for my adulthood however this is the background of my current story.

The current story I am deciding to tell is that I am capable of doing anything I damn well please. I won’t let my current body shape, finances, or opinions of other people slow me down, any longer. The last ten years I’ve been heavily involved in the social dance scene, especially West Coast Swing, and there were certainly times of insecurity and doubt but I loved it so much that I persisted. The life lessons I learned because of dance are immeasurable and priceless. Doing scary things makes you tougher and more beautiful.

Now, I’m starting a new dance journey of all the dances that I thought I was too fat or too poor to do when I was a little wannabe dancer. Yesterday I started with ballet. Soon, I’ll enroll in jazz and tap classes. I took a peak at the lyrical hip-hop class in the studio next to my ballet class and as my body gets stronger, I’m signing up for that one, too.

I feel like a whole new dancer has been reborn inside me.

This not-so-little ballerina is coming out, wiggles and jiggles and all!

 

*Stay tuned for more stories from this new dance journey as I log more life lessons, wins and failures.

 

 

 

**Image from http://mistycopeland.com/


Thanks for reading!!! I love to hear back from readers. What do you think about this topic? Have you had similar experiences? What helped you the most? Please comment below!


*I do not make any money off of this blog. I don’t get any kickbacks from products or books I write about. Just sharing the love!

 

Published by

Emily Rose Washburn

Integrative Life Coach, Licensed Massage Therapist, Reiki II Practitioner, Writer, Dancer, Artist

4 thoughts on “The Not So Little Ballerina

  1. Thank you for sharing this! I took a few ballet classes about 5 years ago and struggled with my own repeating of what my family had said about my not so little body. Your story really resonates with me and I’m excited to hear how things go!

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  2. In my bleak moments I feel like I live a life defined by the “I can’t” tape in my head. But I fight against accepting these self-imposed limitations. I take great heart in reading how others overcome their mental negative voices. I cheer you on! I am in good company. Keep dancing!!!

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    1. Oh yes, the “I can’t” or “I should have” or “should not” thought errors run amok in our brains. It’s not easy but we can reprogram our brains. I’m working hard every day to do it so I don’t regret anything when I’m done with this lifetime. I’m learning and applying Brooke Castillo’s thought model of CTFAR: Circumstances (facts of life) trigger a Thought, which creates your Feelings, which drive your Actions, which create your Results. So, I’m basically deciding which thoughts I want to repeat, because beliefs are just thoughts we keep on thinking. “I can’t” still comes up but then I have the option to choose a new thought. YOU are an inspiration to me, still to this day. Wish I could hang out with you like those good ol’ days. 🙂

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