Mining Our Minds for True Love

All my single ladies!

Even though I’m now married and expecting a little baby this Summer, I very much remember the joys and sorrows of my single life. 

Last night we were watching some show about old gold miners sifting through all the rocks, dirt, and mud just to find that teeny tiny speck of real gold. Allllllllll that hard work to get to the real stuff. I made the comment “Wow, reminds me of my early dating life.”

That’s what dating can feel like. A bunch of hard work, first date after first date, hoping for that true gold, but wondering if you’re really meant to have that joy. Or if all the “good ones” are gone. Any real men left in this world!? 

I know I used to question myself and God so much. Was I even meant to be in a relationship? Was I even cut out for it? Would anyone ever really love me? All of me? I have so many flaws, how could someone see past them all to the gold in my heart?

I got so down on myself, so deep in my depression that I started to smother that desire for a relationship, marriage, motherhood. I started to believe it wasn’t in the cards for me and that I should just love the friends and family I had and enjoy the kids in my life. Be the best Aunt Emmie I could be and just be happy with that. I would still date but never expect a real relationship, real love or intimacy, just have fun. Isn’t that what all the cool girls on Instagram are doing now a days anyway? Fine with me.

Well, my friends, it wasn’t fine with me. My depression got worse. Not because I needed a man to love me to be happy. No. It was because I wasn’t loving myself. I was ignoring myself. I wasn’t taking care of my own needs and desires. I wasn’t being a good partner to myself. Of course, no good partners were showing up in my life.

I want you to know that I feel you. I got your back. I remember these struggles so well. If you’re in this chapter, I can help you turn the next page. I have the tools to rewrite this story. It’s definitely not a fairy tale, and there’s no living “happily ever after” once the ring is on your finger but I know how to do the work to make yourself happy and complete now so that when your path collides with your partner you’re ready. 

I can help you sift through the mud and muck in your brain and first find the gold in YOU. 

If you have this true desire, please don’t stifle it. Please don’t give up. Let’s do this work together!

Your partner will show up and you will each recognize the golden glow in each other. 💛

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​If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

Empath Or Victim?

I love when something I learned years ago in Massage Therapy school pops up in my coaching life. 


In one of my massage classes our instructor taught us how to sort of build an energetic shield around us so that we don’t “take on” the energy of the client when we work on their bodies. We learned how to center ourselves first, grounding in our own energy before we began the session.


I remember it being a profound lesson at the time because I had the idea that I was an intuitive empath and just couldn’t help how stressed out people made me feel stressed out or how when someone was negative at work it would also bring me down for the whole day. I learned that we create energy in our bodies with our mind and we can show up as the therapist with a calm, clear energy and not let our clients rattle us. 


Fast forward to coaching and I now see how this works even more clearly! When we observe someone else’s behaviors, tone, body language, words, we have a thought about it our heads. Often we can be right on the money and guess that this person indeed feels sad about the exact issue we think it is. BUT we can never know what someone is actually thinking and feeling. It’s all a speculation. 


So, if that’s true, then we are making up a story in our mind about what someone is feeling, what their energy/vibe is. That story, made up of thoughts, or sentences in our brain, creates an emotion in our own bodies. And folks like me who are “perceptive” or are just really, really good at paying attention to people think they are feeling what the other person is feeling. When really, we are feeling what we “think” they are feeling. 


That means when you work with someone who says what you would call negative things and think “they are negative” you get to feel to the negativity. They are feeling whatever it is they are feeling because of THEIR own thoughts. You don’t have to feel it, too. You generate your feelings with YOUR own thoughts. 


This is great news because then we can stop being the victim of the people around us. I think a lot of people like to call themselves an empath so they don’t have to take responsibility for their own emotions and can blame the world for feeling crappy. I know because I used to be that exact person. “I just can’t help what I feel!” 


I would still say that I get intuitive feelings, perhaps you could call it messages from God or the Holy Spirit, The Universe, Higher Self, whatever it is, but rarely do I believe it’s outside of my own thoughts. Sometimes it’s just our primitive brain offering up instinctual survival mechanisms to keep us safe. It’s all good, let’s just take responsibility for it and empower ourselves!

So, it’s a good question to ask yourself…are you truly an empath or are you playing the victim?

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​If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

I Coach Men, Women AND Couples!

Did you know that I coach women, men, AND couples? Yep, I sure do. 


I remember when I booked my first male client, I was a little unsure of how it would go and did a bunch of self-coaching before the first session. I had some FALSE beliefs that men weren’t as emotionally accessible, they’re always told to be tough and not cry, that they would think that what I do is too mushy for them. Five minutes into my session with him I was delighted to see how open, ready and willing he was to work on himself. 


Male or female, those are the clients I love working with! 


It can be scary to make a decision to work with a coach, especially if you’ve been taught some false beliefs yourself. If you’ve been a bit hardened by what the world tells you to be and what emotions mean. But once you do make that decision, you will feel relief and excitement for the opportunity to make real change in your life! I know I did!


This goes for women or men, single or in a relationship, alone or in a session with your partner, it takes the same courage and desire to change. We’re all humans with human brains that need work so we can show up as the best version of ourselves in our relationships. 


If you’ve been thinking about signing up for coaching, I’m only taking FOUR more clients for my 4-week program at the introductory price for the next month, before I go on maternity leave. After that I will be working with 6 and 12 week program clients only.

Message me to schedule your FREE consultation call before spots fill up!


*Know someone who’s needing some help? Share this post with them and I’ll give you a special deal on your package if you both sign up. 😉 

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​If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

What Are Your Beliefs?

Hey you! Did you know that you’re actually good enough? 

That thing you’re wanting to go do, that person you want to become, that dream you’re trying to push away, you’re actually good to go! 

Yeah, I don’t know the details of your story and I bet you have a list of reasons why you don’t believe you’re good enough to pursue those passions and goals…BUT I do know that I used to believe I wasn’t good enough and I overcame it. I went for some CRAZY impossible things and made it happen. I couldn’t have done it without my belief in myself. 

I used to think if I could just convince a bunch of people to believe in my dream and get THEIR validation in it THEN I could muster up enough belief in myself. That pretty much never happened because most people will be polite and listen to your dream but think they’re being “realistic” and let you know that your dream is a bit too crazy. 

It’s okay! They’re just trying to save your feelings. They don’t want you to get disappointed if you don’t reach your goal. But guess what, it really has nothing to do with you or your goal. Their thoughts are about THEM and what they believe to be true for themselves. It shows their limiting beliefs and they’re entitled to those. But you don’t have to take them on. 

You can create your own belief with or without ANYONE’S approval. 

It really is true. 

Almost two years ago I had this wild, impossible dream to be married and expecting a child in the next year. I wasn’t even dating anyone. Like no one. Friends and family thought this was just another one of those crazy Emily dreams. (It was!) Then I got to work on my beliefs, got coached, did some more work, and about a week and a half later met my now husband and co-parent-to-be! 

You don’t need anyone’s validation, you don’t need to lose weight first, get the right job first, make a certain amount of money first…all you need is belief. 

Here are some sample thoughts you can try on. Write them out and see how they feel to you. If it doesn’t fit, ask yourself why, again and again, until you get down to the real belief and see how you might be able to let it go. Do you really need to keep it and can you create a new one? 

✨I believe I am good enough just as I am, right here, right now for all of the wonderful things that I envision for myself.

✨My past does not determine my future. I create ALL NEW possibilities from now on. 

✨I may not deserve what happened to me in the past but I deserve everything I create today. I am in charge of my reality. 

✨I am a human and humans are capable of INCREDIBLE things.

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If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

Self-Sabotage in Relationships

The way you perceive your partner, or the lack thereof, is a reflection of your own thoughts about yourself. 


Got some insecurities? Your partner will for sure shine the light on them and have you take a deeper look into it. 


Got some imposter syndrome? Marrying the man of your dreams will for sure bring up doubts that you even deserve him. 


Got some past trauma? Your partner saying words (any words at all) can trigger a deep pain in your little girl self that makes you want to hide in shame. 


This is where self-sabotage comes in. You get what you’ve been working so hard for and then boom! Your brain reminds you that you’re NOT worthy of this joy. That you should feel guilty for getting what you’ve dreamed of when the people around you are suffering. You should probably push this love away. You should probably go back to the suffering yourself. You should probably start a fight and get him really, really mad so he’ll realize you’re not actually good enough for him so he’ll leave. That way you’ll have another person to blame for your loneliness. 


Y’all, I’ve been there/I am there, and I know this story all too well. 


Partnerships are not hard. 


Relationships are not hard. 


Being single is not hard. 


All this suffering we create unnecessarily is hard. We do it to ourselves! The “hard work” people speak of in relationships is the work we do on ourselves. Yep, that’s hard. It’s uncomfortable to look inside and see that you are responsible for how you feel.

Thankfully we can do hard and uncomfortable things, and we grow. We become stronger, with or without the partner. We learn that we have the capacity and strength to feel any emotion that life has to offer, from the most terrible of terrors to the most blissful of joys. And in that case, we might as well choose worthiness, belonging, accomplishment, love, and joy. 


We can leave self-sabotage in the past and from now on be able to sit with and feel the glory of love. Love for friends, family, partner, and most importantly, for ourselves.


Can you enjoy that feeling without trying to escape it?

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If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best.