The Mom Club and C-Sections

I’ve always thought Mothers were at the top of life’s hierarchy. ​I used to feel like there was this exclusive “Mom Club” that I wasn’t allowed into. Since I was a little girl I’ve always helped support moms, starting with my own in helping raise my little sister, then babysitting other kids, becoming a day care teacher, a live-in nanny, friend of many Mom friends and coworkers, being a villager in their kid’s village. I got a really good sense of what it was like to take care of children. I studied parenting, teaching, first aid, etc. But when it came down to it I didn’t really know what it was like to have the responsibility of being a mother 24/7, which I could only imagine was super hard but what I wanted more than anything. 

What’s interesting is that even though I’ve seen so many varieties of birth stories, parenting, and home life, I still had some judgements of what being a good mother was, starting with the birth.


It wasn’t until last week when I found out that my little baby is in breech position and a c-section actually became an option for me did I realize these unconscious judgements. I thought by working with a midwife, planning an all natural home birth, that I was doing “all the right things” and that I would be giving my baby and me the best start to this new life I could. I never thought a c-section was an option for me. Sounds super silly since 1 in 3 births are from c-sections. I had these thoughts that I was going to be super conscious in my parenting starting with my pregnancy and how I gave birth, that I wouldn’t let the medical industry or a hospital push me around and tell me what to do…I had this sense of control. A false sense as it turns out. 


This past week I’ve let these unconscious judgements come up and out. I looked at them square in the face and accepted myself and this situation as it is. I am choosing to let go of how I think a Mom should be/act/give birth, the negative thoughts about what the medical industry does and that a hospital isn’t safe for us.


So, we are scheduled for c-section this coming Wednesday and I’m opening my heart and mind to whatever needs to happen to ensure health for both of us coming out of the hospital. At the end of the day, birth is just one little blip on the parenthood radar and soon enough Chris and I will be deep into the weeds of everyday life with a new baby and it won’t really matter how it all came to be. 


From now on, I’m going to remind myself of this lesson, that we are only in control of so much and I need to loosen my grip on the false sense that I can control every aspect of my life. That I can take action towards what I want while knowing that life has variables that I could never predict, and that’s okay. I can ride the wave in peace, calm, and clarity, instead of arguing with reality in stress, anxiety or fear. 


I’m realizing that this is only the very beginning of parenthood and all of its surprises. I’m open to all of it. 


So, here’s to my last few days of pregnancy! I’m so excited to meet this little (stubborn) guy and to finally gain membership into the “Mom Club”, a group of regular humans all trying to figure it out every day just like everyone else….but a bit more badass. 😉

Question Everything

Asking myself this question every single day and I hope you might consider asking yourself the same.


“What if there is even a possibility that I might be wrong about this?” 


If we ask ourselves to question our thoughts, the programming, the software in our hardware of a brain, belief systems, everything we’ve been raised to know as truth, then we might find that we don’t actually like how some of these thoughts make us feel and act, that they’re no longer serving us or the world, and perhaps we might let them go. 


Take for instance, racism. I’ve met people who at one point believed their own race was superior to others, or just that one specific race was lower than everyone else, and that over time, listening to people, getting to know people, questioning the beliefs they were taught in their childhood, that they now understand that original thought to not be true. It was never true, that we are all equal. They now show up as a person who loves all people, feeling their own love, and serving the world from a much better emotion than hate or disgust.


I remember at one point I tried on the belief a pastor tried to instill in me that being gay is absolutely wrong, an abomination, and condemnable to hell. I really tried to believe this because I thought in order for myself to be seen as good in God’s eyes, I must also believe being gay is an abomination. I actually told an amazing friend, who is gay, this belief. It felt terrible and I showed up as the least friendly person I could have to this friend. Afterward, I questioned it. I questioned and researched and prayed and decided that I do not believe the thought that this pastor tried to drill in. It just never really made sense to me with all the texts and teachings about how divine and perfect the Love of God really is. I apologized to my friend and never once regretted leaving that thought behind.  


I’ve decided to continue believing all people are equal no matter what. 
With so much programming in this world it is so important for you to decide what you believe, to not take every single headline, comment, story, word-of-mouth review, as fact.


Question everything. 


Question what your parents taught you to believe about yourself or others if believing those thoughts makes you feel and act terrible. Question that comment your old high school boyfriend made about your thighs that has replayed in your mind for 20 years, making you believe you’re not attractive. Question the thought you created when you were fired about not being smart enough. Question that “news article” you just read about a politician when it was most likely written as opinion in a blog post that has a newsy look to it. 


Strip everything down to the most boring facts and then decide how you want to color your story. Rewrite it with what you choose to believe because that will determine how you feel emotionally, which determines how you act, how you show up in your family, your work, your whole world, which ultimately determines your results in life, how you perceive reality. 


We are all creating stories every single day with our thoughts. None of us see the world as it really is. People who claim to be a “realist” or “cynic” are also creating their own story, from their previous programming. There is no such thing as any human seeing everything 100% objectively, it’s just not possible with how our brains work. 


Question the beliefs that aren’t doing any good. Rewrite your story. Create a new reality.

Mining Our Minds for True Love

All my single ladies!

Even though I’m now married and expecting a little baby this Summer, I very much remember the joys and sorrows of my single life. 

Last night we were watching some show about old gold miners sifting through all the rocks, dirt, and mud just to find that teeny tiny speck of real gold. Allllllllll that hard work to get to the real stuff. I made the comment “Wow, reminds me of my early dating life.”

That’s what dating can feel like. A bunch of hard work, first date after first date, hoping for that true gold, but wondering if you’re really meant to have that joy. Or if all the “good ones” are gone. Any real men left in this world!? 

I know I used to question myself and God so much. Was I even meant to be in a relationship? Was I even cut out for it? Would anyone ever really love me? All of me? I have so many flaws, how could someone see past them all to the gold in my heart?

I got so down on myself, so deep in my depression that I started to smother that desire for a relationship, marriage, motherhood. I started to believe it wasn’t in the cards for me and that I should just love the friends and family I had and enjoy the kids in my life. Be the best Aunt Emmie I could be and just be happy with that. I would still date but never expect a real relationship, real love or intimacy, just have fun. Isn’t that what all the cool girls on Instagram are doing now a days anyway? Fine with me.

Well, my friends, it wasn’t fine with me. My depression got worse. Not because I needed a man to love me to be happy. No. It was because I wasn’t loving myself. I was ignoring myself. I wasn’t taking care of my own needs and desires. I wasn’t being a good partner to myself. Of course, no good partners were showing up in my life.

I want you to know that I feel you. I got your back. I remember these struggles so well. If you’re in this chapter, I can help you turn the next page. I have the tools to rewrite this story. It’s definitely not a fairy tale, and there’s no living “happily ever after” once the ring is on your finger but I know how to do the work to make yourself happy and complete now so that when your path collides with your partner you’re ready. 

I can help you sift through the mud and muck in your brain and first find the gold in YOU. 

If you have this true desire, please don’t stifle it. Please don’t give up. Let’s do this work together!

Your partner will show up and you will each recognize the golden glow in each other. 💛

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​If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

Empath Or Victim?

I love when something I learned years ago in Massage Therapy school pops up in my coaching life. 


In one of my massage classes our instructor taught us how to sort of build an energetic shield around us so that we don’t “take on” the energy of the client when we work on their bodies. We learned how to center ourselves first, grounding in our own energy before we began the session.


I remember it being a profound lesson at the time because I had the idea that I was an intuitive empath and just couldn’t help how stressed out people made me feel stressed out or how when someone was negative at work it would also bring me down for the whole day. I learned that we create energy in our bodies with our mind and we can show up as the therapist with a calm, clear energy and not let our clients rattle us. 


Fast forward to coaching and I now see how this works even more clearly! When we observe someone else’s behaviors, tone, body language, words, we have a thought about it our heads. Often we can be right on the money and guess that this person indeed feels sad about the exact issue we think it is. BUT we can never know what someone is actually thinking and feeling. It’s all a speculation. 


So, if that’s true, then we are making up a story in our mind about what someone is feeling, what their energy/vibe is. That story, made up of thoughts, or sentences in our brain, creates an emotion in our own bodies. And folks like me who are “perceptive” or are just really, really good at paying attention to people think they are feeling what the other person is feeling. When really, we are feeling what we “think” they are feeling. 


That means when you work with someone who says what you would call negative things and think “they are negative” you get to feel to the negativity. They are feeling whatever it is they are feeling because of THEIR own thoughts. You don’t have to feel it, too. You generate your feelings with YOUR own thoughts. 


This is great news because then we can stop being the victim of the people around us. I think a lot of people like to call themselves an empath so they don’t have to take responsibility for their own emotions and can blame the world for feeling crappy. I know because I used to be that exact person. “I just can’t help what I feel!” 


I would still say that I get intuitive feelings, perhaps you could call it messages from God or the Holy Spirit, The Universe, Higher Self, whatever it is, but rarely do I believe it’s outside of my own thoughts. Sometimes it’s just our primitive brain offering up instinctual survival mechanisms to keep us safe. It’s all good, let’s just take responsibility for it and empower ourselves!

So, it’s a good question to ask yourself…are you truly an empath or are you playing the victim?

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​If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best. 

I Coach Men, Women AND Couples!

Did you know that I coach women, men, AND couples? Yep, I sure do. 


I remember when I booked my first male client, I was a little unsure of how it would go and did a bunch of self-coaching before the first session. I had some FALSE beliefs that men weren’t as emotionally accessible, they’re always told to be tough and not cry, that they would think that what I do is too mushy for them. Five minutes into my session with him I was delighted to see how open, ready and willing he was to work on himself. 


Male or female, those are the clients I love working with! 


It can be scary to make a decision to work with a coach, especially if you’ve been taught some false beliefs yourself. If you’ve been a bit hardened by what the world tells you to be and what emotions mean. But once you do make that decision, you will feel relief and excitement for the opportunity to make real change in your life! I know I did!


This goes for women or men, single or in a relationship, alone or in a session with your partner, it takes the same courage and desire to change. We’re all humans with human brains that need work so we can show up as the best version of ourselves in our relationships. 


If you’ve been thinking about signing up for coaching, I’m only taking FOUR more clients for my 4-week program at the introductory price for the next month, before I go on maternity leave. After that I will be working with 6 and 12 week program clients only.

Message me to schedule your FREE consultation call before spots fill up!


*Know someone who’s needing some help? Share this post with them and I’ll give you a special deal on your package if you both sign up. 😉 

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​If you’re interested learning more about the tools and concepts I write about here on the blog, and want to take this work to a deeper level in your own life, book a free coaching call with me! Click HERE to use my online scheduler to find a time that works best.